Can You Picture It?

Today is my nephew's 10th birthday party. He is the second oldest of the grandkids, 2 years behind David. I used to watch both of my oldest nephews from the time they were babies until they went to kindergarten. Mikel has turned into quite a thoughtful little man who's into video games, computers, or pretty much anything that involves technology. He also asks a lot of questions about David, trying to figure him out, or even just understand everything better.
Having him turning ten has me thinking back to almost 2 years ago when David turned ten. That was a huge birthday for me as a parent. To have a child reach the double digits seemed a little unreal. I look at the HUGE differences in Mikel and David at the age of ten.  I'm 99% positive that Mikel will be receiving lots of gift cards for Best Buy, XBox, or just cash. I looked back at the pictures from David's 10th birthday party. He received lots of clothes in a size 6. He got an infant mirror for ages 3-6 months (which he still loves by the way). Mikel doesn't like regular cake, so he asked for an ice cream cake. David didn't even know there was cake there, because he can't eat normally. 
In my head, I think of all of the things that I missed when David turned 10. I know Kyle will reach 10 one day and I will see many similarities to this birthday celebration today, but I never got to see that with David.
Then I throw my heart in there along with my head. I close my eyes and I try to picture what David would have been like if he was "normal" when he turned 10. I can't. I can't picture it. Because it wouldn't be DAVID in those pictures. David was a ten year old boy who thinks like an infant. He can't hear. He can't eat by mouth (even though we sneak him some tastes). He can't walk or talk. He is now almost 12. He still thinks like an infant. He still can't hear. And he still can't eat by mouth. Walking and talking still aren't, or will ever be something he can do. But he's mine. Kyle's mine. Neither one is perfect. David's David and Kyle (who is stubborn BEYOND belief, but woke me up at 7 with a huge hug and a kiss this morning) is Kyle. I love them both more than I can even describe.
I tried to picture a different life. But THAT isn't my life. THIS is my life. Hard as it may be, it is mine. God gave it to me. So I'll take it.
Happy Birthday to Mikel Jr. on Wednesday! Proud of both of my nephews for loving and taking an interest in their cousins!

Back To The Norm......I Hope

We had an extremely eventful Christmas and New Years. David was admitted to the hospital 3 days before Christmas for an overnight stay. He'd been sick all week with flu-like symptoms and a high fever. After taking care of an underlying problem, they sent us home swearing up and down that he had something viral. We came home LATE on the 23rd and he still had a 102.5 fever. I don't think David has ever had a temp. that high. I was still nervous. Imagine my relief that they called late Christmas Eve morning and said his urine came back with bacteria in it. Hence the fever. Antibiotics followed and within 2 days he was much better. It still took the next 10 days to get him back up to his regular intake of pediasure (5 cans per day). It was a sloooooow process.
Kyle and David went back to school on January 4th. I miss having them home to an extent, but I also am enjoying it. I love them that much more when I see them at the end of the school day. It's nice to be back into a routine. While I did enjoy sleeping in until 7 or 7:30, I think we all function better on a schedule and that includes my 5:50 wake up time to get David up and ready for school. David thrives on a schedule, so he is actually adjusting to that better than Kyle. Totally different story with waking up early. I'm lucky if I can have him up by 7:30 on a school day. Then it's rush rush rush to get to school in time. It takes him a good 20 minutes to get dressed. I'm not even sure why. He's not really doing anything that would slow him down. I think he might just "check out" for a little while. Then when the weekends hit, he's up at the crack of dawn. I guess that's like a lot of kids.
I have discovered a new love of reading food blogs. I have always loved to cook, but have been burned out on the same old things all the time. So I've been experimenting. Most have been good to great, some not so good or great. I don't think anything has been bad yet. I'm sure that I'll find something that will be. I have a whole list from one site that I want to try. I think the hardest thing that I have on my list this week is homemade wheat pita bread, so cross your fingers it's good so we can have our chicken gyros on them! There are so many different desserts that I want to try. BUT I do not want those to stay in my house.  I would probably get as big as my house. I don't want the working out I've been doing to be a TOTAL waste. I WISH ALL THOSE SWEETS DIDN'T LOOK SO GOOD THOUGH!  I want to try them so badly, I just offered to make a dessert for a get together my mom is having soon. This from the girl who doesn't even love to bake that much.
All in all, I am ready to get on with 2012.  Another year of getting older. Another year of learning new things. Another year to meet knew people. Hopefully that will be what 2012 is all about :)