How You Doin?

Stealing my favorite Joey line from Friends for the title here.

Cause seriously.....how YOU doin?

These times are hard. On you and me and our kids and our parents and on business owners and on politicians and on famous people and especially on essential workers from medical personnel to grocery store workers.

I am overwhelmed trying to keep David safe, keep Kyle off screentime to a certain degree, and work when the kids are at their dad's and then you talk about homeschool???? Forget it.

Some of you are working from home and trying to homeschool and entertain little ones. Some of you have a strict homeschool schedule and that's totally fine. Some of you are like me and make your kids get up and login and check to see what work they have and trust that they're doing what they need to do. And literally just pray that what they turned in is sufficient.

We're all going to handle this in a different way. Some might resort to an extra glass (or two) of wine at night. Some might be napping more (my favorite way to handle this). Some might have to have a good scream and cry and then boss up and go on with your life. Some might have to cuss and throw stuff. You might see some meditating the peace right into themselves. Some might be baking more (I also might be guilty of this).

Any way you choose to approach it isn't wrong. I promise. You won't always feel strong and you won't always feel in control. Which is how I've basically felt my entire life of being a mother of a special needs child. The unknown.

We are in a world of unknowns currently. You have to give everyone grace during this. Be respectful.
Be helpful. Be aware. Those things are all FREE.

The memes make me laugh in this time. I kind of live for them at this point. I NEED to smile in the time of unknown. They might be annoying to you. Scroll past them and move on. People like me like to know that there is humor in life and sometimes they make me feel so much better about my hot mess of a world my life can be.

I pray at night. You might not. And that's cool too. The seriousness of all of this isn't lost on me and I do like to think that my faith will help me through. It's heavy to think about. And I'm a total empath and I feel for all those people I've never met. So I choose to do the only thing I know to for them and pray.

It's a tough world right now folks. Stay safe and practice sheltering in place as much as you possibly can. Let's make this go away faster. TOGETHER.

Because if we're not united, we're nothing against this.

What The Doctors Didn’t Tell Me

I am the mother of special needs children.

Yep. Both. Kyle has numerous little diagnoses, including severe anxiety and ADD. A lot of that stems from having a brother like David.

A few things I have learned over this 20 year journey.....are nothing short of something I’ve learned through self-discovery and parenting these kids. A doctor cannot prepare you for being the mother to a special needs child.

First. More than likely your child’s doctor is reading from a script. And is also probably not the parent of a special needs child. They see the symptoms and not the soul.

Mama....see your warrior’s soul. Your child’s soul is way more important than the symptoms and diagnosis. Cheer for that soul. Dig deep for that soul. Doctors and therapists know a lot. But none of them have had the blessing to gain what you have through raising and protecting your little warriors.

Second. Be prepared to learn. A lot. And research. A lot. Basically you are earning a degree in your child’s disease or symptoms that you will never get paid for having the knowledge of. Except from that beautiful soul you’re learning about. They will pay you in smiles and love. Also be prepared to know that no matter if a million kids have your child’s disease....or 20 kids have your child’s disease.....they are ALL different. They might have the same gene mutation. But they are individual people that came from their parents’ genes. They will not be the same as your child. Do not compare!

Third. Find your voice. No one else is going to speak for your child. Except for you. IEP’s. 504’s. Teacher texts and emails. I’ve had them all. For both my children. And at the same time I try to be respectful of the fact that these outsiders in our children’s lives don’t do what they do for the glory. They might be changing your child’s diaper at school. They might have to email you that your child with ADD has yet missed another turn in date for an assignment. They don’t relish in that. They do it because they love their job and they care deeply for your child. They want to see your child succeed and the see potential for your children. So show some respect to them. You can fight for your kid and remember kindness at the same time. I promise.

Lastly....you won’t be recognized for selflessness. You should be. You began this journey terrified of the ride and now you are an expert at roller coasters. I swear on everything I am that I see you and I know what you go through. I am recognizing you. I am cheering for you and your warriors. And never be ashamed to pat yourself on the back.


It’s all worth it. Every fight. Every sorrow. Every low. Because for all of those, there will be a win. There will be happiness. And there will be highs.