Slowly, she shifts her legs and reaches over to grab his.....
His soap. Cause his soap works best to shave her legs. Where did you think I was going with this?
I just thought I might get more male readers if this started out with a twist. If a woman is in the bath with wine, candles and music...chances are she wants to be left alone. Give her peace.
This is a family blog. Let’s keep it clean people.
And we’re going to talk about David. And HIS bath.
This blue chair, or a form of it, has been part of our bathroom for YEARS. David cannot sit independently in the bath. This chair is a constant reminder that we do things a little different around here. I only have one bathroom in my house. If I shower...the chair is lifted out of and back into the tub. If Kyle showers...it’s again lifted out of and back into the tub.
But if David takes a bath. It provides him a way to find joy. That kid LOVES his bath time. Smiles the whole way through. Laughs as soon as he sees me lift the removable shower head to rinse the soap from him. Absolute and utter pure JOY.
Now. Let me tell you the process. It’s not all that different than giving an infant a bath....except this kid is 20. I usually strip him down in his room and do the cradle carry to the tub. (All while hoping he doesn’t pee on me.) I very clumsily plop him into the bath seat and he curls his long limbs into a very fetal like position while I turn the water on and find the right temp. I then use the shower head to get him wet and wash his hair with his kid shampoo (cause there is no good way to wash his hair without getting soap in his eyes.) I rinse that out and then I try desperately to unfold his arms and legs to wash him well all over. (Again...with a specialty soap because he has weird skin sensitivity issues.) All the while he is smiling and laughing and enjoying the warm water. Which can actually make it harder to get him to cooperate because he’s so excited. When he’s finally washed and rinsed.....the tricky part comes.
Getting him out. 😂
I use giant bath towels for him. I try to dry his hair and body off as much as possible before lifting him out. But his darn, bony clavicle acts like a well on either side of his shoulders. Which basically become large lakes. (Do you know how hard it is to dry a lake up with a BATH TOWEL?!) That giant bath towel get laid on the floor. Then comes the lift. It’s a different lift than putting him in. This time I’m dealing with a giant, wet whale. You know how squirmy infants and babies are after a bath? I’m doing the same thing with a 70 pound man.
So very carefully and very ungracefully I hoist him out and pray my back doesn’t give. Lay him on the giant towel while his teeth are chattering. Quickly drying him off the best I can. And then comes dressing him. He’s still damp after a bath. Ever done diapering on a wet kid? Yep. Like that. But worse. He refuses to bend arms or legs. He’s shivering the whole time. But laughing at me because I secretly think he knows he’s faking this disability and he has me wrapped around his finger.
This kid makes it ALL worth it. Every comical step of bath time. Every lift, every soaked T-shirt I end up wearing after. It’s ALL worth it.