Music In My Life

I love listening to music. And I listen to all kinds. Everything. Although classic country's not really my thing. But Michael loves it, so sometimes it's on.
Most of the time, music means something to me that I can relate to. Life, love, kids. Good and bad times. Sometimes music is just something fun to listen to that puts me in a good mood. I mean, who doesn't need a little 'Moves Like Jagger' in their life to put a smile on their face?? Kyle doesn't have the same appreciation for music as I do. Unless it's Jason Aldean's 'Big Green Tractor', he doesn't relate. Now, I love playing music loud in the car when I have my 4 year old neice, Kendyl with me. She LOVES music. She sings with me. She does a lot of foot tapping and head bobbing. It's just fun.
If you know me, you probably know that I have an unhealthy infatuation for Keith Urban. I really love him and his music. But yesterday, in the car, a new John Mayer song came on. It's called 'Shadow Days'. I LOVE this song. I already really like John Mayer. Afterall, he had the good sense to have a Crossroads concert with Keith Urban. But I like him even more now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4FC9iuftAA
We had a bad week with David this week. He had the flu one minute, and we were in the hospital the next. It happened so fast. He is just unable to digestively cope with belly issues. He has a hard enough time when he's well, so you can forget about it when he isn't. I think these were definitely some very shadowy days for all of us. We were tired. We were frustrated. We were unhappy. David was all of these things and then some. But now he's doing better. He's still a little tired. He's not near as frustrated. His belly issues are doing a little better. He can go back to school tomorrow to try to establish a routine again after a week. It is high time to put our shadow days behind us. I'm ready for some sunny days. Some beautiful ones that we can enjoy being outside with the kids.
Now, I do know that I will have more shadowy days. I get that. But this past week is gone and we can't get it back. I've said before that I would go through lots of bad days to get to the good ones. And I am eternally grateful for the good ones that I've been blessed with.

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

Kyle turns 6 next month. I love him so much and just cannot fathom that he is going to be 6.  He is discovering who he is and trying to figure out where he's going. He is almost finished with kindergarten. While sometimes it has been a challenge for him (talking, talking, in class), he has learned a lot of great things and picked up on some not so great things. He's never been exposed to such an array of different kids that are all "typically developing" kids. Our house is pretty unexciting and drama free compared to a classroom of 5 & 6 year olds. His reading skills are starting to develop. He can write sentences. He knows his address and phone number. Still working on shoe tying, but it's coming along. He is so far from perfect, yet a perfectionist. He is undeniably ALL boy. Dirt, trucks, tractors, guns. Those things are his favorite things.
He is always talking about turning 16 and driving. He's talking about getting married and moving away (SCARY). He was even playing "restaurant" a month or so ago and his dad was the waiter. When asked what he would like to drink with his "meal", he asked for a "beer" and said to Michael, "Just pretend I'm 21, ok?" I don't even know how he KNEW he had to be 21 to order that!
Don't get me wrong. I'm excited to get to watch him grow up. Mentally and physically. It's been a different roller coaster ride for me with Kyle than with David. In fact, my journey with David wouldn't even be considered a roller coaster ride. More like bumper cars with all the unexpected bumps, lurches, and crashes. Mentally David will never grow up. But Kyle is doing it right before my eyes. Sometimes I just want to tell him not to be in such a hurry. Take the time to enjoy it. What I wouldn't give to go back and be a kid sometimes. Not to have the stress and worries that come with being an adult. Just to be footloose and fancy free.
He still has a long way to go before he gets his license, or orders that first beer. (Pray for my sanity when those days come.) For now, his biggest worry is to decide whether or not to have a monster truck party or an Army party for his birthday!
And my biggest worry is what question he will ask me next about life. Sometimes great questions and sometimes HARD questions!

Lightening In a Bottle

It seems like I've been around an awful lot of babies lately. And some really cute ones at that. In particular, Averie and Garrett, my niece and nephew. Today I went to the hospital to meet my friend's newborn, Kyle. He was so little. I don't remember my kids being that small! And so cute. He slept when I held him and even had little smiles. I'm sure he's going to be a super cool kid since he has such a super cool name. (I'm just slightly biased.)
My Kyle has become a little (OK. A lot) needy lately. As soon as he walks in the door from school, he wants me to play hot wheels or tractors with him. As soon as Michael walks in the door, he wants to play swords with his dad (Thankfully he saves the potentially dangerous toys for Michael). The other night Michael was sitting on the couch and it had been quiet for a while. You would think that would make us wonder what he was up to. After about 20 minutes, Kyle appears at the side of the couch and says to Michael "Dad, I was hiding so good, you couldn't even find me! Did you forget to look in David's room??" Um. Oops. Michael forgot they were playing hide and seek. But we just let Kyle think he was a great hider. Even though his spots are pretty predictable. Michael and I have joked about renting another 5 year old boy for a while just to keep Kyle busy.
We made the decision many years ago that our family was complete. I mean, even if I wanted to have another baby, it's not like Kyle and he/she would be close enough in age to be interested in the same things.
I have loved snuggling with the little ones that I've been around lately.  They are so little and cute. But I definitely love knowing that we are complete.
They say you can't catch lightening in a bottle. But I think I have. My family is my lightening. And I was lucky enough to have it happen on separate occasions. So love the ones you have. And catch however much lightening is perfect for you :)

twelve.

Last night I went with my mom to see the movie 'The Vow'. I really enjoyed it. It kept hitting on one thing. That everyone's lives are made up of points of impact and how those moments make a person who they are.
I've had many points of impact in my life. Getting married, moving to another state with my military husband, moving to another country. But my bigggest moment of impact so far has definitely been becoming a mother.

Twelve years ago today, David Webb gave me that opportunity. And it's changed me forever. He doesn't know what a birthday is or that he's twelve years old today. But we celebrate him regardless. He may not be able to tell me he loves me like Kyle can, but one smile from that boy fills my heart with it. And while we sometimes go through weeks of bad days until we have a good one, I would do it again and again just to be able to have the good day again.

This isn't as big of a birthday for me as when he turned ten. Certainly not as big as next year when he will be thirteen (gasp!). But knowing that he has blessed us for twelve wonderful years is definitely what today is all about. 

So Happy 12th Birthday, David Webb. We all love you!

Can You Picture It?

Today is my nephew's 10th birthday party. He is the second oldest of the grandkids, 2 years behind David. I used to watch both of my oldest nephews from the time they were babies until they went to kindergarten. Mikel has turned into quite a thoughtful little man who's into video games, computers, or pretty much anything that involves technology. He also asks a lot of questions about David, trying to figure him out, or even just understand everything better.
Having him turning ten has me thinking back to almost 2 years ago when David turned ten. That was a huge birthday for me as a parent. To have a child reach the double digits seemed a little unreal. I look at the HUGE differences in Mikel and David at the age of ten.  I'm 99% positive that Mikel will be receiving lots of gift cards for Best Buy, XBox, or just cash. I looked back at the pictures from David's 10th birthday party. He received lots of clothes in a size 6. He got an infant mirror for ages 3-6 months (which he still loves by the way). Mikel doesn't like regular cake, so he asked for an ice cream cake. David didn't even know there was cake there, because he can't eat normally. 
In my head, I think of all of the things that I missed when David turned 10. I know Kyle will reach 10 one day and I will see many similarities to this birthday celebration today, but I never got to see that with David.
Then I throw my heart in there along with my head. I close my eyes and I try to picture what David would have been like if he was "normal" when he turned 10. I can't. I can't picture it. Because it wouldn't be DAVID in those pictures. David was a ten year old boy who thinks like an infant. He can't hear. He can't eat by mouth (even though we sneak him some tastes). He can't walk or talk. He is now almost 12. He still thinks like an infant. He still can't hear. And he still can't eat by mouth. Walking and talking still aren't, or will ever be something he can do. But he's mine. Kyle's mine. Neither one is perfect. David's David and Kyle (who is stubborn BEYOND belief, but woke me up at 7 with a huge hug and a kiss this morning) is Kyle. I love them both more than I can even describe.
I tried to picture a different life. But THAT isn't my life. THIS is my life. Hard as it may be, it is mine. God gave it to me. So I'll take it.
Happy Birthday to Mikel Jr. on Wednesday! Proud of both of my nephews for loving and taking an interest in their cousins!

Back To The Norm......I Hope

We had an extremely eventful Christmas and New Years. David was admitted to the hospital 3 days before Christmas for an overnight stay. He'd been sick all week with flu-like symptoms and a high fever. After taking care of an underlying problem, they sent us home swearing up and down that he had something viral. We came home LATE on the 23rd and he still had a 102.5 fever. I don't think David has ever had a temp. that high. I was still nervous. Imagine my relief that they called late Christmas Eve morning and said his urine came back with bacteria in it. Hence the fever. Antibiotics followed and within 2 days he was much better. It still took the next 10 days to get him back up to his regular intake of pediasure (5 cans per day). It was a sloooooow process.
Kyle and David went back to school on January 4th. I miss having them home to an extent, but I also am enjoying it. I love them that much more when I see them at the end of the school day. It's nice to be back into a routine. While I did enjoy sleeping in until 7 or 7:30, I think we all function better on a schedule and that includes my 5:50 wake up time to get David up and ready for school. David thrives on a schedule, so he is actually adjusting to that better than Kyle. Totally different story with waking up early. I'm lucky if I can have him up by 7:30 on a school day. Then it's rush rush rush to get to school in time. It takes him a good 20 minutes to get dressed. I'm not even sure why. He's not really doing anything that would slow him down. I think he might just "check out" for a little while. Then when the weekends hit, he's up at the crack of dawn. I guess that's like a lot of kids.
I have discovered a new love of reading food blogs. I have always loved to cook, but have been burned out on the same old things all the time. So I've been experimenting. Most have been good to great, some not so good or great. I don't think anything has been bad yet. I'm sure that I'll find something that will be. I have a whole list from one site that I want to try. I think the hardest thing that I have on my list this week is homemade wheat pita bread, so cross your fingers it's good so we can have our chicken gyros on them! There are so many different desserts that I want to try. BUT I do not want those to stay in my house.  I would probably get as big as my house. I don't want the working out I've been doing to be a TOTAL waste. I WISH ALL THOSE SWEETS DIDN'T LOOK SO GOOD THOUGH!  I want to try them so badly, I just offered to make a dessert for a get together my mom is having soon. This from the girl who doesn't even love to bake that much.
All in all, I am ready to get on with 2012.  Another year of getting older. Another year of learning new things. Another year to meet knew people. Hopefully that will be what 2012 is all about :)

Jingle Bells

I'm sitting here trying to think of things I want to write. There are a lot of things going on at this time of year and it is so hard to try to touch on everything.
Thanksgiving has come and gone and the Christmas season is in full swing. Tree up, decorations up, lights are lit up, and the Christmas scented candles are burning. My shopping is pretty much complete and the presents are pretty much all wrapped except for the few stragglers I've been waiting to get here from my online shopping.
Christmas family traditions are important to me. When I was a kid, me, Mandy, and Jessi would always pretend we were asleep when my parents would come in to check on us. This was after we were old enough to know that they were really Santa. As soon as we could, we were up and sneaking peaks at what they had filled our stockings with. They made us stay in bed until 6 am. We could then get them up to go open presents. I'm pretty sure Nicole was too mature for all of this excitement. I believe that she and my parents would have rather had their beauty rest rather than wake that early to open gifts when in all actuality, they would still be there if we had waited another 2 hours! But we couldn't wait. The excitement was too much for us.
Now that I am married with children of my own, our traditions have changed slightly. But I am trying my hardest to make sure that they are the same each year. David doesn't really understand or actually care all that much. Kyle is five now though. He is understanding that Christmas is about giving and receiving gifts now. And spending time with family. And this year, we are actually reading the story of Jesus' birth to him. I definitely want him to know that this is what it's REALLY all about.
The excitement of seeing their little faces on Christmas morning still gets to me. I still have a hard time sleeping in on that morning. Unfortunately, Michael, David, and Kyle are all a lot like my parents and Nicole were on Christmas morning when I was a kid. They would rather sleep in! So this year, while they are all asleep and I'm not, I guess I will just wait in anticipation for their arrival around the tree!
I'm sure this will be my last post until after Christmas and possibly the New Year. For the rest of the year, I will be focusing on the people in my life who mean the most. And creating and maintaining all the family traditions I want to carry on for my kids. So, from my family to yours, have a wonderful Christmas season!