Choices

New year. New resolutions. Lots of the same that I frequently have. Eat better. Be more organized. Exercise more. Clean more. Sit on the couch less.


Typical resolutions.

I asked Kyle if he had any resolutions. I've never asked him before. This year he understands what it means to make a resolution. He responded with "To be kinder, that's all." I was pleased with that. I think I will add that to my list as well. I also know Kyle wants to run a 10K in the spring. Maybe that's not really a resolution, but more of a 'bucket list' item for Kyle. He wants to run a 10K because he's turning 10 this year. Thank goodness I don't feel the need to run a 38K because of the age I will be this year.

For me, 2016 brings some serious things that actually have made me feeling a little sad. David turns 16 next month. For me, this is a milestone birthday. He should be getting his driver's license. He's not. I still grieve for the David I dreamed of while pregnant with him.

Kyle turns 10 in May. Again, it's sort of a milestone for him. Double digits. He's going to be grown-up and leaving me. Maybe not for a long time yet, but it seems like he was just six years old. Even 6 months old. I'm sad for me.

So instead of feeling melancholy about the changes approaching. I choose to feel joy.


Joy for the fact that I can love David for who he is. He is on this earth to make my heart happy when he is happy. He makes my heart sad when he is sad. But there is joy in that fact as well. Just joy that he makes me FEEL so much. He had a really bad morning today & is having a rough time this afternoon due to not feeling well, but had a great day at school, so I find joy in that. And I am grateful knowing we have capable doctors to take care of him if we need to go that route tomorrow.

 

Joy for Kyle. Becoming a tween. Joy in the fact that he is growing and changing and providing me with the opportunity to watch one of my children meeting milestones of a typical child. And joy in the fact that one day he will, in fact, be an adult who won't need me as much as he once did. And maybe, just maybe, I will have joy one day knowing that he knows that no matter how old he is, he will always need Michael & I.

We will always be faced with sorrow and sadness. The world is full of it. But let's try to find the joy within the sadness. It is then that we will be able to appreciate the people and places around us.

From my family to yours, I hope you all have a happy and blessed 2016.