Crazy Kids. Crazy Mom.

I am the mother to two amazingly different boys. I mean, you all already know that.

What you don't know is their similarities.

They're both stubborn as one of their parents (me).

Kyle will debate with you until it's twisted so much that he won the argument. And when we're both trying to win the argument, things get a little heated between us. This will for sure make me crazy one day.

David self-harms. He knows he shouldn't. If I touch him, he stops. Then he waits until I turn around and starts punching himself all over again. It's a vicious cycle between the two of us. This will for sure make me crazy one day.

Both boys need their space.

Kyle is just at that preteen age that he would rather spend time in his room, watching YouTube, then with us. If he could eat every meal in front of his bedroom television, he would. We do force him to come out of hiding occasionally and bring enough dirty dishes with him to fill the dishwasher. Ha. This drives me crazy daily.

David. Well, David has never been the kid who wanted snuggled. In fact, as a baby, if he was crying and you tried to console him by holding him, it would make it worse. But put that kid down on his baby gym, and he would stop immediately. And today it's pretty much the same. If he's in a mood....it's best to just leave him alone. Occasionally we have to pull out the deep pressure. But he hates that. And as a mom, all you want to do is calm and console a child who is hurting, sad, or frustrated. But you just can't do that with David. This also drives me crazy almost daily.

They're both thinkers.

Kyle is deep. He is very into scripture and what that means to him. He insisted on a specific bible verse on his birthday cake. When I talked about that in therapy, she was blown away. People have always said he's wiser beyond his years. He's seen a lot of stuff. And been through a lot of stuff. But even as a baby, he was a thinker. He might not tell you what he's thinking, but you better believe that the kid's mind is spinning. It drives a mama crazy when he tells me what he's thinking AND when he holds it in!

David thinks. A lot. And man. I wish I knew what he was thinking about. Because I feel like I could solve the world's problems if only I knew what was going through that beautiful boy's head. I can see it in his eyes that he's got stuff on his mind. I can see it in his demeanor that he's thought about what he needs and wants. But he doesn't know how to tell me. Talk about driving me crazy.

They both bring me joy.

Kyle...….We fight. We argue. We have some hard-core stand-off's in this house. But......he makes me laugh. He makes me cry with joy. He makes me love hard. He makes me work hard as a mom. He makes me ME. His heart is good. He loves his family. He loves his animals. He loves this life. He feels hard and falls harder when his feelings are involved. David is his number one concern in life. As well as video games. He drives me mad. He drives me crazy in love with him.

David.…..We fight. We don't argue. But we definitely have some hard-core stand-off's in this house. (and he's normally the winner). But he makes me laugh. And cry. And I'm quite sure I've never known a love like his. He challenges me as a mom. Especially a mom who doesn't totally have it altogether. He forces me to have things together for him. His heart and mine are pretty much the same. He too drives me crazy in love with him.

All that being said.....both my kids are similar in the fact that they drive me crazy. Daily. I mean I seriously lose my s**t everyday because of them. But the happiness they bring me, trumps everything else. Everything. Nothing beats a happy mama who loves her kids more than anything else in this world. When I'm with them, when I'm without them. They drive me crazy. Crazy happy. Crazy loved. Crazy wild. Crazy life.

And that makes me joyous. And it always puts a smile on my face. Well.....eventually :)