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Tonight I just had an urge to write. Not about anything specific. But just life and an update. I found some quotes on Pinterest that really stood out to me, so I thought I would kind of address a few of them individually and relate them to my current life.

It is ok. I am far from ok all of the time. This is really really hard. No one expects to go through a divorce. Everyone seems to think there is a protocol of how someone should act or live or laugh or date or not date or parent or cry or lose her mind. There isn't. You go through ALL of the emotions. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I'm happy, you'll know it. If I'm sad, you'll know it (although I will go to greater lengths to disguise this emotion.....but I'm terrible at it.) The one thing I know for sure is that I am not going to fail. I might fall. But I will not fail my kids.

I STRUGGLE with this. Immensely. I think we all do. We are all our own worst critics. I AM enough. You ARE enough. Yet we try all the time to be more. Smaller, smarter, funnier, a better mom, a better friend, a better human. We CANNOT do it all. We can strive to be good. And being good doesn't always mean better. It means you are enough. Society can try to tell you something different.  But I promise you are enough. We are enough. 

Healing is a forever process. You heal from one hurt and usually gain some type of other hurt....physical or mental. Healing is tough. There are only so many bandaids a heart can be mended with. Time does help. Family does help. Friends do help. If you fall down, stand back up. Learn from that fall and move on. Slowly pull off the bandaids and start to think you can be loved again and willing to love. A heart is always capable of love. Take that broken heart, super glue it together and do good things with love. 

I do break down and cry. Not daily. But weekly(ish). I'm overwhelmed. I'm exhausted. I'm fighting a teenager doesn't seem to be affected that our life has drastically changed. And I'm fighting a teenager who immensely feels the changes that we are facing. And struggling with those changes. These 2 teens ARE my reason. My purpose. And my joy. They keep me going. If there is one thing that makes me get out of bed in the morning, it's my kids. David's smile automatically makes me smile and Kyle's dry sarcasm usually gives me a laugh. They make me strong. 

All in all.....we're doing ok. We wake up, do human things, and go to sleep. We love, we fight, we conquer. Together.