What The Doctors Didn’t Tell Me

I am the mother of special needs children.

Yep. Both. Kyle has numerous little diagnoses, including severe anxiety and ADD. A lot of that stems from having a brother like David.

A few things I have learned over this 20 year journey.....are nothing short of something I’ve learned through self-discovery and parenting these kids. A doctor cannot prepare you for being the mother to a special needs child.

First. More than likely your child’s doctor is reading from a script. And is also probably not the parent of a special needs child. They see the symptoms and not the soul.

Mama....see your warrior’s soul. Your child’s soul is way more important than the symptoms and diagnosis. Cheer for that soul. Dig deep for that soul. Doctors and therapists know a lot. But none of them have had the blessing to gain what you have through raising and protecting your little warriors.

Second. Be prepared to learn. A lot. And research. A lot. Basically you are earning a degree in your child’s disease or symptoms that you will never get paid for having the knowledge of. Except from that beautiful soul you’re learning about. They will pay you in smiles and love. Also be prepared to know that no matter if a million kids have your child’s disease....or 20 kids have your child’s disease.....they are ALL different. They might have the same gene mutation. But they are individual people that came from their parents’ genes. They will not be the same as your child. Do not compare!

Third. Find your voice. No one else is going to speak for your child. Except for you. IEP’s. 504’s. Teacher texts and emails. I’ve had them all. For both my children. And at the same time I try to be respectful of the fact that these outsiders in our children’s lives don’t do what they do for the glory. They might be changing your child’s diaper at school. They might have to email you that your child with ADD has yet missed another turn in date for an assignment. They don’t relish in that. They do it because they love their job and they care deeply for your child. They want to see your child succeed and the see potential for your children. So show some respect to them. You can fight for your kid and remember kindness at the same time. I promise.

Lastly....you won’t be recognized for selflessness. You should be. You began this journey terrified of the ride and now you are an expert at roller coasters. I swear on everything I am that I see you and I know what you go through. I am recognizing you. I am cheering for you and your warriors. And never be ashamed to pat yourself on the back.


It’s all worth it. Every fight. Every sorrow. Every low. Because for all of those, there will be a win. There will be happiness. And there will be highs.