Thursday, June 9, 2011

Loving David

We have had a really rough week this week with David. He started a new medication a couple of weeks ago that is doing what it's supposed to do, but has caused him some pretty severe digestive issues. So we've been doing some things to correct that issue. I think we're starting to get on the right path. Have I thoroughly enjoyed my week? Not really. Am I disappointed in David for having this problem? No. It is who he is......
This morning I was watching the Today Show. They did a segment on a mother who wrote an article for Redbook about how she has never liked her child because she didn't meet the mother's "expectations". She wasn't meeting any of the typical milestones that children typically meet. She didn't eat or sleep well. She was "different".  She had a second daughter and said that she finally knew what it felt like to love like a mother loves. Her daughter finally got a diagnosis at the age of 7 of some kind of growth hormone deficiency that caused her to be developmentally delayed. It was then that the mother finally accepted her daughter for who she is. She said she felt like instead of it being her against her daughter it became her and her daughter against the disease. It taught her to be "patient".
I have a problem with this because so many children/adults will go through their lives without a diagnosis for something they face everyday. David is one of those people. He is 11 and doesn't have a specific diangosis to what doctors believe is a chromosomal issue for his severe delays. I certainly never loved him any less for that. I'm not waiting for the day to love him more because he has a diagnosis. I'm not sure that day will ever come for us, but if it did, I'd love him the same as I do now. I do get frustrated with our situation sometimes. I'm not perfect. But I love and appreciate my children for who they are. I love David and Kyle for all of their flaws. And Kyle has just as many as David. Especially when he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed like he has this morning :)
So I guess what I'm trying to say is to love your kids for who they are and not what they can do. Get frustrated or angry with them when they do things that aren't right. But never stop loving them. They can't help "who" they are.