I don't totally understand why. I do it because it was my choice to have children. In making that choice, I choose to take care of the children that I have.
I am just a mom to David. The child who made me a mom. The kiddo who introduced me into the world of special needs. The kid who has great days and really tough days. The person who molded me into who I am right now at this very minute. A love of my life that I worry about daily. For his present life & future life. I worry about the cruel world we can sometimes live in and am thankful that he doesn't understand the impact of humans that can be unkind. I feel the hurt for him.
(Perhaps one day there WILL be a movie about him!)
I know that David is not perfect. Neither am I. He is just David and I am just his mom.
I am just a mom to Kyle. The child who made me a mom for the second time. The kiddo that introduced me to the world of a typical needs child. A kid who has good days and really tough days. The first child of mine to ever utter the words "I love you" to me. A love of my life that I worry daily for. For his present life and his future life. I worry about the cruel world that we can sometimes live in and I can only hope that I can be enough of a role model for him to become one of the many kind humans we have in the world. He has & will always feel the hurt for his brother in the world. He said it best in the car the other day when he said "Being related to David will make us all better people."
I know that Kyle doesn't always make the best choices. He struggles daily with self-control. But I know his heart. I know it when it's happy and when it's hurting. He is a very normal 8 year old boy with special circumstances in his life that he can't always grasp. But I see glimpses of him grasping it daily. He is a boy trying to figure out where he belongs & one day he'll figure it out. I will help him find who he is. Because he is Kyle and I am just his mom.
Two very different boys. Yet at the same time, they have so many similarities. And I love them both very much.