A Toy and a Tear

This has been a year full of ups and downs. Probably the most difficult thing we endured was losing a beloved pet in Webster. It hit us all incredibly hard--especially Kyle. In the aftermath of that, we gained a newly beloved pet in Gunner. He's a stinker, but fully loved.

This Christmas I was able to get almost all of my shopping done before Thanksgiving. I love having everything ready to put under the tree when it goes up. We don't really hang our stockings here at home. Santa fills those at Grandma & Grandpa's house and we open them with our entire family there. Which makes it easier for me than it was for my mom when she had to fill 4 stockings for her 4 daughters only after they fell asleep on Christmas Eve. I get mine done while the kids are in school and smuggle them to my parent's house long before Christmas Eve.

While filling them this year, I could see that David's was so sparse compared to Kyle's. The kid can only have so many pairs of socks to fill it. So I was on a hunt to find something to fill the space. SO HARD. I know what he likes. Hats. But I already had 2 of those. I know what he needs. Socks, soap, toothbrush, etc. Already had most of those. And mirrors. This is a little trickier. They have to be soft-sided mirrors so he can't hurt himself on them and they have to be able for him to grip with poor fine motor skills.

So I found myself in the baby aisle at Wal-Mart. With a cool puppy toy (with mirrors on his feet) in my hands. Big enough to fill the space I needed to fill. And when I say "toy".....I mean "rattle". Marked for ages 0-6 months. I knew he'd probably like it. We have others similar. And I found myself torn. He is almost 17. It's a little heartbreaking to be purchasing an infant toy for a young man who is also requesting a good electric razor from Santa (that's an entire other can of worms for this mom). What did I do? I cried. And then I bought him the toy.

My entire world revolves around keeping him happy and content in this life. And even though he will be 17, he truly is an infant stuck in a big boy's body. I really think he'll like the puppy toy. It hurts that I will never buy him an ITunes gift card, a video game, or give him keys to a car. But if I were purchasing those things, they wouldn't be for David. They would be for someone else. He's perfectly and wonderfully made. He's David.

And he better like that toy that brought me to tears.

Merry Christmas! I am truly grateful for you all.