Friday, February 19, 2016

David. 16. Holy cow.

My head has been spinning trying to think of things I haven't already said about David as his body ages & his mind stays the same. I keep thinking there's nothing left to be said. Is there anything left that I can say that can express how special he is to me? Us?


This is a milestone birthday. Sixteen. Driver's license, car buying, being added to insurance. In my head he is supposed to be doing all of that. But he's not. And that makes me sad.

But then my heart speaks to me. He's NOT supposed to be doing any of that. That is NOT who he is. He's David. Special needs child extraordinaire. He's the puzzle to so many. Unable to be figured out.

I often wish he can speak to me. To tell me his thoughts. Tell me his feelings. Then I realize he does speak to me. He speaks to me when he smiles. Which tells me he is happy & content. He speaks to me when he cries. Which tells me he's sad. He speaks to me through agitation. Which tells me he's angry & upset. I don't always have the answers as to why he's feeling these things. Or how to fix the hurt & sadness. But he is communicating in his own way.

And while he may not be getting his drivers license or buying a car, I know deep down that wasn't supposed to happen for him. For us. He has a deeper meaning than the materialistic things in life. Although we did get him a license plate for his wheels :)

He made me who I was meant to be. Someone I didn't know I wanted to be. His heart is woven so deeply into mine, his soul entwined with mine. For that I am forever grateful. He makes me better. On the good days, the bad days, and the in between days. I am absolutely sure that God hand-picked him for this family. He is forever ours & we couldn't be any luckier.

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