Friday, February 5, 2016

Perfectly Imperfect

Today I just feel....blah. A little tired. A little lazy. I don't feel like doing much. Just blah. A very technical term. There's no reason really. Except probably a lack of sleep combined with a busy week.

Sometimes I try to put on a show and act like everything is great. I paste that smile on my face and pretend that blah isn't how I'm feeling. But let's be real. We all have days like these.

And I thought I would say that it's OK to feel this way. And ok to be imperfect. I love to show my perfect moments on social media. I love sharing the kids' smiles, their bond with each other, and their accomplishments. But we have real moments as well. I'm talking REAL.

For all of the awesome pictures I post of the kids that seem picture perfect, I get about 25 of these before I get the one that I actually use. In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't get one good one out of this round of tries that I deemed social media worthy. David is super hard to get his attention (he can't hear, so if you could see me on the other side of the camera, you'd probably laugh at what I do to catch his eye), Kyle has one of the most unnatural smiles that you've ever seen. Unless he's genuinely laughing or thinking of something funny, you get the "smile for the camera, even if you don't want to" grin. And the falling over that takes place. I mean, some days I just can't even handle it all.

And then there's this. Kyle is not the affectionate type. He's not the smooching type. He will occasionally humor me. But this day wasn't one of those times. He hugs me every night before bed, and tells us he loves us every night as well. But if it were going to be caught on camera, he probably wouldn't. It would indeed be bad for his image. Whatever image it is that he's trying to achieve. 

And what can I say about this face??? It's pretty self-explanatory. This is from about a week ago. I probably took it to send to Michael at work. To say "See what you're missing out on today??" This is frequent in our house. The inconsolable crying. The days on end of bad moods. Sure. I love to share his smiles. But it's rare that I would share this. But I'm just trying to keep it real for you. Tonight I could probably take an identical picture. He is currently in his bed (he was self-injuring on the floor in his room, so for safety reasons, I contain him in a space that he's less likely to be hurt by something other than himself) crying. I think he's often just over the entire week by Fridays. He did have a good week at school, with the exception of a few times here or there.
So there you have it. Our blahs. While David is feeling sad in his room, Kyle is nursing a cold and watching Dukes of Hazard in his room. He will probably watch too much TV tonight because tonight is just one of those nights.
And I think it's really all ok. We all have those moments. Perfectly imperfect. That's us. And probably most of you too.

1 comment:

  1. Indeed. I'm so glad I can be perfect at something in this life...even if it is imperfection.