Me & David

      My first ever memory of David was before he had his G-Tube. My memory was my mom feeding him through his mouth! I was around two then, so David was around eight! Eight years ago, almost nine, he didn't have his G-Tube!

      I really love to play with him a lot, which I actually used to not like to play with him! Crazy, right! I don't everyday, but I do a lot. He loves to play with hats, I mean he has loads of hats! I like to play with him with his hats! He also likes mirrors and baby toys and I play with those with him as well! My favorite toy of his is his stuffed superheroes!

  This is the reason I love to run-because  David can't-but I run for him because I want to do what he can't for him. We ran a 5k together, I pushed him while I ran with a friend. He loved it and I loved pushing him and my time was only 30 minutes! My best time is 24 minutes and 33 seconds! I would push him again, but only once a year so I can keep trying to get better times for myself. That way I can practice to get better times with him.

        He is a lot of fun when you know him pretty well, but even if you don't know him, he's still pretty fun. This is because he will pretty much play with anyone if he's in a good mood. But, if he's in a bad mood he won't really want to play with anyone. When he's in a bad mood, he cries a lot or he is mad. He also fusses a lot. When he's in a bad mood he doesn't really make eye contact as much as he usually does.
                                                                           

         Is it hard to have a special need child? The answer is..... YES!!!! The reason is because you don't really know what to expect next and that you don't know what he wants to do and its really hard to do stuff with him because we sometimes have to leave because he's fussy.  He gets mad all the time ( not literally) and we don't know why and that's also why we have to leave places, but yeah.

Sometimes when he's sick, it's scary. Very scary. He scared me a lot when he got so sick in January. I didn't know what was happening to him and I had to stay a friend's house and I wasn't comfortable because I was nervous and not used to sleeping there.

 

                 We all love David in this family just like we love everyone else in this family, we love just the same. We want to make his life meaningful and full of joy, fun, laughter, happiness, and love. 

17 in 2017

Another year has gone by that we've been blessed to have David in our lives. I feel like a broken record on his birthday posts every year. Because while his body is aging, his mind is forever staying the same. And it's so hard.

He turns 17 on Monday. It's one of those in between birthdays. Not quite as notable as 16. But it is his last birthday as a "child". And that is terrifying for me. So much changes at 18. His doctors change. Our status will change. From "parents" of David Watkins to "legal guardians" of David Watkins. But this is 17 and we will celebrate that age and worry about the "adult" age later in the year.

It was a year of mostly ups. Until last month when we almost lost him. That was by far the scariest day of my life so far.

And I won't take another day with him for granted.

I have made it a point every single day since then to spend quality time with him. Some days that means sitting in his room on the floor when he is crying and he wants nothing to do with me. But I'm there. Some days that means sitting in the room with him while he's sleeping and he has no idea that I'm there. But I am. And some days that means playing in his room while he laughs and looks me in straight in the eyes and KNOWS that I am there. Those are the moments I treasure the most, but the other moments are a part of us. Him and I. We are definitely a pair.

When he is at school, I have realized that I go through the day feeling like part of me is missing. And when he comes home, I definitely feel complete. I realize that all parents, probably moms in particular, are bonded to their children. But as a parent to one typical child and one special needs child, I can tell you there are different types of bonds.

Kyle and I have a bond and we talk to each other. He tells me how he is feeling, what he is feeling, when he is hungry, when he is tired, and what he needs. He is ingrained in my heart. But because he makes his needs known to me verbally the bond is different.

David and I have a bond of a different kind. I feel like I know him so well that sometimes I think we almost share a simultaneous  spiritual heartbeat. Even though I know that physically, his heart actually beats much faster than mine. My gut instinct with him has become fine-tuned and while I don't always know exactly what he wants and needs, I always know that I will try my best to figure it out.

This next year is going to be a year of change. I am watching other kids his age go on college visits, get jobs, excel in school activities and much more. I think at first I was a little sad about not experiencing that with David. And now I'm not sad at all. I'm just so grateful for more days on earth with him. Happy or sad days. Another day to change his diapers. To give him nutrition. To dress him. To smell his hair. To get pooped on (totally not even a joke). To hear his laugh. To hear his cry. To watch him scoot. To share him with others. To keep him to myself. And so much more.

I pray for so many more days and years and birthdays with our boy. He keeps me grounded and keeps me real. And maybe those are selfish reasons. But maybe they're also his purpose.

Happiest of Birthdays on Monday David Webb. You are my heart, soul, joy, and wonder.


(And Kyle proof-read this for me and gave me a standing ovation. LOL. Talk about a pat on the back from a 10 year old. I love him so much too :))