They say when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade.
Some people would think this may apply to me. Not me. I'm pretty sure that life straight up bypassed the lemons and handed me a 55 pound jug of lemonade. In the form of a 12 year old boy named David Webb.
In the last week, David has had some ups and downs. He was sugary sweet the day of my sister's baby shower. He thought EVERYONE was funny. Especially his Aunt Mandy. He smiled when people played with him. He smiled when I changed his diaper. And he smiled when he was sitting by himself at the table and no one was paying attention to him. What I wouldn't give to have that type of soul within me at times.
Then his good mood faded a little. A little bit of the sourness came through. He's kind of sweet and sour at times the last few days. I believe he's having some digestive difficulties (which if you know David, you know what I'm talking about). I'm hoping to have that taken care of by this evening. But it makes him unhappy, and I can't blame him at all. One minute he's smiling, and the next, he's crying. He's been very spastic the last two days. His movements are extremely repetitive. I can't get him to stop poking himself in the neck/chin area. I cut his fingernails down as far as I could so try to keep him from hurting himself too badly. He has bruises from it. But once he sets his mind to something, he goes full force at it until the mood has passed. This has been his MO for life.
His life is a lot like a glass of lemonade. It's sour to think about having to have a disabled child for life. To know that he can't do the things that his brother; cousins; and friends can do. He actually doesn't know any better, but it still hurts just the same. I have bad days. I have cried at the strangest times. Sometimes a song will come on the radio and remind me of things I don't have. Or sometimes one will come on that is a reflection of our life.
Then those times sort of fade away. The sweet that hits you after you get over the sour. The innocence of having a child that will never know or understand the meanness of people that we will encounter in our lives. The laugh that comes from his belly for sometimes no apparent reason. Sometimes I wish I could just let out one of those laughs that just come from within. Or the smile he gives when his eyes are still closed and we are getting him out of bed for the day. I desperately would love to know what he has dreamed about the night before to give him that smile on his face.
I follow many sites on the internet that have to do with disabled children. Each family is unique in their own way. We all have our ups and downs. And lefts and rights. The world isn't the same for anyone. All face their challenges in such a brave way. I know that I am lucky right now. My luck changes daily. Pray for the ones who need for their luck to change today.