Tomorrow

Tomorrow you turn 13.

It boggles my mind that 13 years have gone by with you. We have honestly had the best of times and the worst of times in these years. You made me a mom. Then you made me a mom of a special needs child. Most people probably don't use the word "lucky" to describe us. I would. We are lucky to have had the opportunity to love you. You don't know you're turning 13. You don't know that you can't have cake or ice cream to celebrate. But we celebrate you. You are so special to us.

To me, you equal home. I know wherever you are, I will be also. You have filled my heart with the power to love someone so wholly without having you return the words I would love to hear from you. But you have shown me with your beautiful smile. Almost every day of your life. Your innocence is splendid. Your heart knows no hurt. I wish that for so many people and such a select few get that chance.

I think one of the best quotes that could be associated with us and our love for you would be this:

"One of the happiest moments ever is when you find the courage to let go of what you can't change."

We have 100% done this and accepted you for you and what God wanted you to be. A light to touch so may peoples' hearts.

Happy Birthday, David Webb. We love you to the moon and back.

A Village

We've all heard the saying "It takes a village".  This week I have found the true meaning in that for our family.

My sister sells Gold Canyon Candles. She has for a long time now. Gold Canyon supports The Prayer Child Foundation, which help children with medical costs and/or necessities. David was a recipient of theirs back in 2008 when we got his sleep safe bed. Mandy and I had recently been discussing my hopes to one day get David a push chair (a lightweight stroller designed for handicapped children). His wheelchair is very difficult to lift in and out of the van. We do not have a lift van or a ramp to get David's wheelchair into the car. David still rides in an adolescent car seat, which I believe is the safest way to transport him at this point. Which means we lift David into the van and then the wheelchair gets hefted into the back. Anyway, Christmas morning, David had a special gift under the tree from The Prayer Child Foundation. Mandy had nominated him for assistance towards a push chair and they blessed us with a $750 check. The chairs that I've looked at cost anywhere between $2500-$4000, so this was a wonderful start to a push chair fund for him!

After Christmas, Mandy still wanted to help us raise more funds. She decided to host a candle party and give David 100% of her commission to put into his fund. Her goal was to have enough sales to get us another $250. We both posted the event on Facebook and had several people order online. My friends, who don't always have a lot of extra to give, rallied behind us by sharing the link time after time or getting their family members to place orders. I had someone from high school send me a check for $100 (which had me in absolute tears of appreciation and joy). Another friend ordered candles and wrote her check over and told me to keep the difference. I was overwhelmed.

I posted yesterday that it was the last day to place an order, and then had another surplus of orders and sharing the link again. I learned a lot about the people that I have met in our small community. They really supported us in this. My heart was warmed and it made me joyful.

My friend has an organization set up in her daughter's honor (who suffers from a rare, terminal brain disease called Batten's Disease) called Mabel's Able. She texted me yesterday to let me know that Mabel's Able would like to match the commission earned by my sister's candle sales. I cried. It's been an emotional whirlwind of a week. Please go on Facebook and learn more about Mabel and children with other rare or unknown disease.  You can look them up under Mabel's Able. Please like their page to support all of these kids.

I hate asking for help. I don't like feeling helpless. But from the bottom of my heart, I want to say thank you to all that ordered, or shared, or got other orders from family, or just donated. It is purely overwhelming to know that we have our very own "village".

PS-We surpassed our goal by over $200. And that does not include the donations that came in :)

A Look Back

Another year has come and gone. It's hard to believe that 2012 is gone already. Life is short. Things really do pass us by.

As I look back on the past year, I see so much good. Life always hands us lemons occasionally, but I tried my best to turn it into lemon aid.

2012 gave me a 12 year old boy. David Webb really hasn't hit many more milestones in his life, but has continued to give me the blessing of a forever innocence that I would never have stumbled on if it weren't for the presence of him in my life. We will always have our challenges with him. 2013 will give me a child with the mental age of an infant stuck in a teenage body. We have already seen signs of frustration from him with what is only going to continue to become a larger frustration for him as his body develops into a teenager while his mind stays behind. We will just have to take the challenge head on and try to help him deal with all that is going on within him.

Kyle turned 6 in the spring and lost his first tooth. Looking at how much he's grown this year is crazy. He hasn't gained much weight, but he has gotten taller. Mentally, I think he is also turning into a teenage boy. He has mastered door slamming and the word "Whatever". But he can also be very mature when he wants to be. And he loves us. And his brother. He tells me every day.

We made our annual trip to South Carolina again this year. While it brought a week of fun and sun, the trip home brought us the realization that we now have two children that tend to get car sick!

Our summer at home was pretty good. We got a small pool at home so we don't have to drag David out to the local pools. He loves the pool, but we have noticed that he has about a 20-30 minute tolerance of being in the water before he gets really tired and is finished. Having the pool at home allows him to have the time in the pool and then he can get out and play in his room while we finish our swim. This way he doesn't have to sit in the heat while waiting for his brother to finish swimming. And boy oh boy, has Kyle turned into a fish!
We also spent a few days at the lake at my parent's house. Even with the LOW water levels, the kids had fun as usual!

At the end of July, my youngest sister and her husband welcomed their baby to this world. Sophie Autumn was born with shockingly large amounts of hair and even at 5 months, she still has a ton!

The fall season brought the loss of our great tans (tear) and the beginning of the school year. Kyle is already in first grade. I am still in shock over this revelation! And David would've began 7th grade this year, but is still in his class with other special education students.

Kyle became a Tiger Cub this year. So far, he really likes the activities he has been able to enjoy. This is a boy who needs to be kept BUSY!

And of course, there are always lots of smiles when David is well and in a wonderful mood!

Winter is now upon us and the holidays are close to being over. This was a tough December for us. On the 10th, we had to say goodbye to Max, our 15 year old springer spaniel. He was our first child. MY dog. He didn't care for Michael much sometimes. Michael left for Kosovo for 7 months 3 days after I found out I was pregnant with David, and it was just Max & I for most of my pregnancy. Max took it upon himself to become my protector during that time. I still miss him terribly and it is sometimes still a surprise to not see him lying right next to the bed all night. But his arthritis over the past year really came to a head at the beginning of the month and he could no longer walk. I know he's not in pain anymore. That puts me at peace.

The kids must've been ok  for the return of Santa. They made out like bandits as usual and I never know how I will top it the next year. Luckily with Kyle's ever changing interests, it doesn't seem to pose a problem with him. David will continue to be a challenge to shop for though.

Of course all the good came with some bad. I could sit and reflect on all of it, but I won't. I can't change the past, and I do not know what the next year holds. I have decided that as long as I am doing what I believe to be the best I can for us, I will not worry about what others think of decisions I have made. Our pediatrician told us the other day that if it doesn't keep you up at night, not to worry about choices you've made. Probably the best advice I've been given all year.
I am not one for New Year's Resolutions.  I can never think of one specific goal to make and keep at. I think the world would be a better place if we could just all sit back and reflect on how to be better people. Take a minute and pay it forward. As soon as I finish this, I am going to take the first step to do that for a person that has done a lot for us this year.

Happy New Year!

All Year

It is that time of year that most people are reflecting on what they are most thankful for. I tend to think of the holidays as a time with family for us. I, of course, am thankful for the time I have with them.

But I want people to remember to be grateful all year. Be thankful each day for the little things in life. I know that I cannot look back over the year and remember every detail of it. Which is why I try to make sure to live in the moment and appreciate the little events that lead up to the big ones that I will remember at the end of each year.

I have been blessed with things that are unimaginable to others. They have left a mark on my heart like nothing else. I have to remember that when the bad things are happening, I am still so so lucky to have all that I have.

From our family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

This

This is our baby.

He is the child that completed our family.

This is the child that has taught me what it's all about to be the mom to a typical boy.

This is the boy who loves his brother unconditionally. That bond will never change.

This is the boy who loves to be loved.  And I love to love.

That is the boy who slipped his dad this note tonight.

These are some of the moments that I love the most.

Fall Beginnings

It's that time of year again. We love the smell of our fall candles burning, apple desserts, and crisp temperatures. I do love fall. October is usually a beautiful month filled with fall colors.

Fall brings many changes. It's time to get out out warmer cloths.

 Like my Uggs. Gosh, how I've missed them.

Or those 7/8 sweatpants that I've been waiting for David to grow into (but still hasn't).

It's time for more indoor play.

 Organized

And unorganized (you could also call this "mass chaos")

Yet it is still nice enough to be outside for a while. To be able to have a small leaf pile to jump into.

And we still know that we will be able to have a much larger one in the weeks to come. Yay for Kyle, not so much for Michael and I. This tree is MASSIVE!

These two are able to be outside more often. Which equals heaven for Webster. And annoyance for Max.

And we don't have to worry about them having a heat stroke like we do in the hot summer months.

Of course this time of year is one of Kyle's FAVORITE times of year.

Harvest Time!

There are so many more fall things to come for us. Monday we are going to head to the apple orchard and next weekend will be pumpkin patch time for us. Followed by Halloween and Thanksgiving festivities. 

We're going to try to squeeze everything in before those winter months hit! Happy Fall to all!

Love This

I just found this poem on another blog. It is so great.  It is equally true for my severely disabled child as it is for my typically developing child. I'm so glad I happened upon it this morning.

I Still would have chosen you - By Terri Banish.

If before you were born,

I could have gone to heaven and saw all the beautiful souls,

I still would have chosen you... ... ...

If God had told me, "This soul would one day need extra care and needs", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "This soul may make your heart bleed", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "This soul would make you question the depth of your faith", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "This soul would make tears flow from your eyes that could fill a river", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "This soul may one day make you witness overbearing suffering", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "All that you know to be normal would drastically change", I still would have chosen you
Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you.

The kids in all their morning glory this morning!